I need someone..

to tell me everything's going to be OKAY. because right now, everything is certainly NOT okay. & i'm not exaggerating, it's a fact. i have to pull myself together, i have to focus on these two final projects. i have to help myself become emotionally stable again. i have to stop changing, i have to stop talking like this to my mom. i can't be dependent on anyone, it's just me on my own. but damn, it SUCKS to know that. to know that you can't depend on anyone all the time. i certainly can't. i don't think anyone is willing to help, they say they are..but talk's fucking cheap. so whatever, i'm not counting on you anymore...i have to do this on MY OWN, & if everything doesn't go as planned, then fine, it doesn't. but it would just be so nice...to have someone...to just LISTEN. that's all. i didn't even go to youth today. that's the third week i've missed. i need it so much, i need God so much right now. because i can't handle this, i need Him to pull me back up on my feet again. & to forgive me, because i know i can't forgive myself. these are the last few days of school, & this CAN'T happen to me again. this is a time to be happy, so damnit, i need to be happy.